We Won't Feel a Thing by J.C. Lillis

Author:J.C. Lillis [Lillis, J.C.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-03-29T00:00:00+00:00

***

Rachel and Riley had once seen a spectacular TV breakup, which had begun with a mild dispute over a toothpaste cap and ended with the couple flinging each other’s belongings all over the front lawn. The carnage in front of the Woodlawn house was similar. The grass—overgrown, since no one had mowed it that week—was strewn with old photos and CDs, books with ripped-out pages, broken knick-knacks from failed vacations, and heaps of ripped clothes, including the remains of Mrs. Woodlawn’s pink silk pants and Mr. Woodlawn’s denim shorts. Draped on the front steps was a long empty sack.

“What is that?” said Riley. He took the tissue plugs out of his nose, careful not to look at the blood.

Rachel and Riley got out of the car and ventured closer. Cringing, Rachel stepped over an eviscerated book and turned over the sack with the forked end of a thick twig. A large DERT logo was printed on the underside, along with:

DERTMUD™

Formula A: For extreme confrontation

**Just add water!**

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